Intimacy after injury. It's a subject most people wouldn't want to talk about. Not only are you dealing with the physical aspects of the injury, but you are dealing with the emotional and psychological aspects too.
Recovering from a traumatic injury is not only a physical but task, but a psychological one. I know from my own personal experience, being injured at the age of 26 there was a lot on my mind that went beyond just the physical healing. One of my first thoughts was, what about intimacy? My injuries were so traumatic that the nerve damage in my sacrum and pelvis caused issues with nerve function in the lower half of my body.I didn't know if I was ever going to heal completely. Lot's of questions came to mind. If you've ever suffered a traumatic injury, I'm sure some of you can probably relate.
These are just a few of the questions that came to my mind:
Will women still find me attractive?
Will I ever be in a relationship again?
How will I ever find a partner who accepts me for who I am now?
How will my body perform?
What if never fully heal?
What if sex isn't the same?
What if I can't perform at all?
How will I please my partner?
Let's face it, being in my 20's...these things were all very important to me.
When I was ready to start dating again I "hid" my injury until after the first meeting. When I say, "hid"...I mean, I wore jeans. But was very up front in saying that I had suffered a traumatic injury, without giving away too many details up front. It was a personal choice. I wanted the other person to get to know me first as a person, before making a judgement based on my physical appearance alone. From my experience this has always worked for me. Fortunately, everyone I've dated has been very receptive and understanding of my injury. But what I did notice was that the most important thing with dating was to carry confidence with you wherever you go. I always kept my head held high and I walked like a rock star when I entered a room. Confidence and charisma go a long way.
Through my journey of healing I learned more than I could have ever imagined about intimacy. My thoughts on intimacy actually grew to a level I never understood before. With the right partner, I learned that intimacy goes beyond the physical. True intimacy is about making strong emotional connections and expressing those emotions in both physical and non-physical ways. I also learned that intimacy goes much deeper than physical attraction. Intimacy is about love and respect for another human being on so many levels. With the right person, intimacy after injury can be a wonderful thing. What I came to understand was that anyone who doesn't accept or love you for EXACTLY who you are, isn't worth your time.
